Everyone in the world ever has already heard about how amazing this dude is, right? Yes? Good. You should have. (For anyone who is not aware, the best news story I’ve found so far is this one. But this is the guy’s actual site.)
I always tried to tell my parents what people said to me, including teachers. And my mom’s favorite story is that my kindergarten teacher complained about how I always drew rainbows. My mom explained that I was a little different (we didn’t know yet that I was also autistic; I wasn’t diagnosed until I was nine because in the early 90s HFA Did Not Happen To Girls) and also that I just really liked rainbows and should be able to draw whatever I wanted.
The kindergarten teacher ignored my mom.
So I proceeded to color pages in black during drawing time. Entirely black. For the next week. Until she told me I could draw whatever I wanted.
Autism Self Advocacy Network members: self-advocating before they knew what ‘advocacy’ actually meant.
ETA: My mother says it was actually a lot longer than a week. “It was longer than a week, it was a lot longer, you were determined,” she writes.
This has been an extremely bad month for my migraines. I am typing this exceedingly slowly and trying very hard not to miss letters or capitalizations or squishing words together. It is not very easy actually.
I know it all has to do with barometric pressure and it’s been very high a lot; I also got stuck on the New York State Thruway for six hours in what was normally supposed to be a two and a half hour drive, and there have been various other entirely outside of my control triggers. But this month has really sucked.
And so I just wanted to post to bitch.
And also to clarify what I mean when I say migraines, as I have been asked before to explain my condition. Because in my case, I really appreciate the fact that I’m having a low-level attack right now and am still able to do things like type. My migraines are not just headaches and sometimes my head does not even hurt at all — the first pain I feel after an aura tends to be in my left shoulder, then my head.
The condition I have is known as paroxysmal or sporadic hemiplegic migraine. Its incidence is 0.03%, and I have medical students and residents show up when I go to the neurologist to ask to be able to look at me. My particular illness is a combination of standard hemiplegia and basilar migraine at the same time. Sometimes I get only one or the other and sometimes I have both. I wear a medic alert bracelet and when people actually look at it they laugh because it says hemiplegic migraine on it and who wears a medic alert bracelet for headaches?
Actually, I do. My doctor, a neurologist in her thirties who had never seen the condition before but recognized it right away, insisted upon it since if I had an attack in public without any warning on my body’s part I would not be able to explain what was happening to me.
Then again, sometimes I can’t even tell what’s happening to me, because I had a transient ischemic attack (or ministroke) in June of 2010 without being aware of it, and a stroke and hemiplegic migraine look just about exactly the same. An eye exam last week revealed I recently had a second one. I have no idea when it was, though my guess, if I had to guess, was April 9th after the six-hour drive when I was bedridden for something like nineteen hours.
My shoulder hurts, my temple throbs, my vision gets blurry and then greys out (entirely; this is the only dual-sided symptom). I throw up. In the past two days I’ve consumed more aspirin than I have food. My hand goes limp and useless first, then the side of my head, then my arm and soon it’s all of the left side of my body, but the parts that hurt still hurt. There’s an ice pick stabbed into the left side of my head. I try to speak but it comes out slurred, or I can’t find words, or I think I’m understandable but no one else perceives what I’m saying. I can feel my basilar artery pulsating sometimes, acutely aware and acutely unpleasant. My eye starts to droop and then shuts itself independently. Medicine takes the edge off but a long sleep in a cold dark room is the only end to an attack, and I have to be able to get there and be able to relax. I am lucky I share my home with a massage therapist, because sometimes he can force the contracture in my shoulder loose enough that I can sleep after taking only a few potent medications.
I can never go out in the sun without sunglasses anymore. I can’t drive at night (the DMV literally took away my right to do so, though my doctor at least didn’t inform them of my defect behind my back) because I have effectively no ability to see in the dark. The left side of my face has permanent sensation loss and my left pupil isn’t reactive anymore either. Sometimes I drag my left leg a little and I don’t even notice.
Migraine caused all this. A migraine disorder caused vasospasm that led to transient ischemia leaving me with permanent damage.
It’s not just a headache.
That has been my messy complainy public service announcement written during a treated and managed attack mostly with my eyes shut. I’m sure I left a lot out. But people like to ask me a lot of questions when I say I’m having migraines and never understand why it’s so severe because a migraine is a headache right? so I figured I would just post this. It feels weird to say this but I guess questions are welcome in my ask box if anyone still has them?
can i ask what some of your unpopular opinions are? (it’s fine if the answer’s no, ftr.)
Don’t mind at all, I just like not being shot by people so no one hurt me. I basically was just using it to block Legend of Korra posts because I think A:TLA is boring beyond belief and find the constant dashboard spam of it really annoying. Since everyone in the world ever loooooves Avatar except not me it drives me batshit. I will never ask that anyone stop enjoying things they love, but I’m glad to not have to hear about it!
Sometimes social justice stuff gets to the point where it drives me crazy too, but there’s nothing going around right now that I bothered blocking.
In 1999, when asked about bisexual men, he gave this response:
Sorry, but avoiding bi guys is a good rule of thumb for gay men looking for long-term relationships. Outside of San Francisco’s alternate-universe bisexual community, there aren’t many bi guys who want or wind up in long-term, same-sex relationships — monogamous or not.
When asked who bisexual people should date, he responded:
No, there are definitely some people who should fool around with bisexual men: OTHER BISEXUAL MEN! Jesus Christ, bisexuals — if straights and gays treat you unfairly, then why not turn to each other for love and comfort? Judging from my mail of late, there’s an unlimited supply of easily offended, extremely verbose, highly ethical bisexuals out there looking for love. F**k each other!”
For a more recent offense, this is a question from his blog posted in 2009:
Questioner: I’m a lesbian, and my girlfriend is bisexual and wants to have a three-way with a man. This makes me nervous. What should I do? DAN: Get yourself a refillable Xanax prescription, or get yourself an actual lesbian girlfriend.
In a 2008 Documentary “Bi the Way”, Dan said:
I meet someone who’s 19-years-old who tells me he’s bisexual and I’m like, ‘Yeah, right, I doubt it.’ I tell them come back when you’re like 29 and we’ll see.
Here’s one thing that is: Many adult gays and lesbians identified as bi for a few shining moments during our adolescences and coming-out processes. (We wanted to let our friends down easy; we didn’t want our families to think we’d gone over the dark side entirely.) This can lead adult gays and lesbians—myself included—to doubt the professed sexual identities of bisexual teenagers.
And here’s another thing that is: Most adult bisexuals, for whatever reason, wind up in opposite-sex relationships. And most comfortably disappear into presumed heterosexuality
And he essentially bamed bisexuals for their problems with invisibility.
But people get to make their own choices, and lots of bisexuals choose not to be out. While I’m willing to recognize that the reluctance of many bisexuals to be out may be a reaction to the hostility they face from non-bisexuals, gay and straight, bisexuals need to recognize that their being closeted is a huge contributing factor to the hostility they face.
Then of course, there’s the transphobia.
In one article on his blog, he repeatedly referred to transpeople as “shemales”. He also joked that a politician was a FTM based on his appearance, and then when he was called out on it, said it was “a joke”.
He’s also misogynistic and a rape-apologist.
Someone wrote into his blog and admitted to finding sex with their husband unappealing after their rape, and having more meaningless sex with their boyfriend.
I also hope you know that being the victim of sexual assault is not a Get Out of Being a Human Being Free card.
If you truly loved your husband and valued your marriage…you would’ve…gotten your ass into therapy without having to be told.
You’re playing the victim card while slamming both hands down on your marriage’s self-destruct button.
You’re being a total shit. Do you love your husband? Is your marriage a priority? Then start acting like it.
Stop emotionally assaulting your husband and put both your marriage and him out of their misery.
He’s also made some really fat-shaming comments about how bigger people just aren’t trying, but it’s taboo to say they could get skinny if they just tried.
Basically, he’s the biggest douche ever, and now I am FILLED with rage.
OKAY SO. I somehow came across this a few days ago and was like yes, something I can just reblog so that whenever people next ask me why I hate Dan Savage I can just be like, “this.” I still need to do the Autism Speaks Does Not Speak For Me link roundup, but for now at least this is here. I have been anti-Savage for quite some time but can never find references to exactly why. So for those of you who were wondering: well here you go.
… Also, apparently, you know, there’s an entire Fuck No, Dan Savage tumblr.
Why are there essentially no drive-through pizza places?
I figured of all the world, Tumblr would have the answer. You can get delivery pizza, and you can get drive through fast food, but I’ve never seen a drive-through pizza place and I’ve been to all of the Lower 48 states and several major Asian cities as well as seen quite a bit of China overall. And I have never, ever seen a drive-through pizza place.
But there must be one somewhere, right? Tell me, tumblr, where is the drive-through pizza?
Fussing about with some stuff on tumblr (like another icon change, as well as pondering adding an about me page because really, my tumblr is totally my internet scrapbook/main online home now because I don’t feel pressured to have a ~good post~ like I do on blogging sites and can also just reblog things without words — I seriously hate words, I’m no good at words, guys) and also discovering I have accidentally unfollowed people omg wtf readding you, and — I have managed to actually make Tumblr Savior work.
Win. I can now avoid all the posts I’m afraid of admitting I avoid because I will get hated on for my unpopular opinions.
Trying to figure out if I should have Instagram dump to this tumblr, or make a new one specifically for it, because I’m a massive phone-picture spammer.
Can’t remember if I have this set up for replies though, and I’m posting this by mobile while roaming, so I can’t really check either — therefore, asking for opinions is kind of hard but if you care either way do let me know. Somehow. Yeah.
PS Zoey I am so sad that I didn’t get to see you after all but I will come visit you special! And now all of Tumblr gets to know. Also about how amazing you are. EVERYONE ZOEY IS AWESOME
There are a lot of great reasons not to support Autism Speaks, and one of the most important to me is the fact that the organisation has no autistic people on its board. Unlike the Autistic Self Advocacy Network , which lives and breathes ‘nothing about us without us,’ Autism Speaks reinforces the idea that people with autism cannot communicate, cannot articulate ideas, cannot be their own advocates. Autism Speaks, all right: for the parents of children with autism.
an actual cool intelligent SURVEY for all bisexual (generally non-monosexual queer-identified) people , that won’t leave you gnashing your teeth and pulling out your hair with fury while composing nasty notes to the Principal Investigators all the while wondering which universe (definitely NOT yours) they live in anyway
if this includes you Please TAKE THE SURVEY and also Signal-boost by Reblogging
zomg. A bisexual survey that actually separates sex and gender, and doesn’t just give you binary options either. Will wonders never cease.
Excellent survey… signal boosting!
doop doop doing this. I am suddenly feeling considerably unerased (as a bisexual woman in a straight relationship).