Blah I have not been able to do anything for TWO DAYS except cry. This includes important things like going to class. I might fail things and this is so so bad I can’t even get into it.
And it’s not like there’s any more crap than usual going on, and i do have things to be excited about! The stuff that’s upsetting me is like: having to drive to the hospital myself tomorrow because of how afraid I am of the parking lot. The skill exam in 3 hours that I have no confidence on for reasons I can’t understand. The fact I’ve missed so many labs I might legitimately fail a class I previously had an A in … because I couldn’t handle the idea of going to a lab. I have been messed up since Monday but I got through classes on Monday and an exam I’m not sure I passed, and then since then it’s just been like … I won’t do anything except lie in bed and cry.
I so thought I was past this. I guess failing the CPE really did ruin the ‘everything is okay in my life now’ mindset.
ETA: But I got a perfect score on that skill exam so I guess it’s okay.
"Well, you’re the one who got the migraine is the best way ever to make me feel like something was my responsibility, yeah.
Because yes! I’m the one who got the migraine; I’m the one who was sick, in pain so bad I passed out. Normally I do feel guilty for my DISEASE THAT IS NOT MY FAULT ruining people’s schedules, but if it’s thrown at me like that? No. No. Just no. Now I’m not sorry.
No one ever texts me first. No one ever wants to hang out with me. I’m always the one that ends up at the back of the group. I’m the one that will start to tell a story and fade into the background. And most of all, I’m sure that in my group of friends that I’m the one friend that secretly no one likes.
I don’t know if I actually have no real friends, because there are people I consider to be my real friends, but this is also completely true. It used to be ‘even online,’ and a few events have made it turn into especially online.
I'm just going to keep reposting it when it changes
because it’s Tumblr, not LJ, so nobody is going to bitch at me either. Tumblr exists for stupid spam. I love this revelation. I can do whatever I want. And some people even look at it and might even care what I have to say.
Things We Learned While Moving: 2011 Edition
Just when you think you’re set, raw sewage shows up to ruin the day.